I saw these cuties outside today…and they made me smile. :o)

Anyway, a little over a week ago, I was pretty stressed about money.  I know finances aren’t really one of those things you’re “supposed” to talk about, but I’m breaking the rules today.  I had (and have) very little money in my bank account, and I was just hoping to make it through the month until camp starts, without having to buy anything.  However, I realized towards the end of May that I needed a physical to work at camp this year…which would cost me somewhere around $30 (which, to me at this time is a sizable chunk of money).  But I held my breath, and scheduled the appointment, knowing that if I went to it, I would have pretty much nothing left.  However, the week of my appointment (the first week of June) I also found out, out of the blue, that I was going to need to shell out another $35 (which I didn’t have) to pay for an NRA membership, so I could teach riflery at camp (the camp paid for the course I took…but they weren’t able to cover the NRA fees too).  I was about to cry - I literally didn’t have the money for everything I needed (including the gas money to get to and from the NRA course several hours away).  Then God, and my mom reminded me to pray.  So I did.  I gave the whole situation over to God, and asked him to provide, since I had no way of making it on my own.  After I prayed I felt much more at peace about it, I knew God could and would provide, and I envisioned an envelope coming in the mail with a $100 check in it for me.

Well, guess what.  Friday came.  My doctors appointment was scheduled at 10:10am.  And I had no more money than I’d had earlier in the week.  I was reading over the health form I needed the doctor to sign one more time before I left, and I noticed a short sentence.  I froze.  I read it again.  It told me that I only needed a physical within the last 24 months - and my last one was this time last year!  I shot an email off to my camp director asking her if this was true, and thankfully she was quick to reply that it was.  So at like 10:00am, I was calling the doctor’s office and cancelling my physical (I was not at all sad…) - 10 minutes before my appointment.  I felt silly…but so, so relieved.  So there was the money I needed for the NRA membership.

I headed out to some remote location in western NY for the NRA course later that day, and for the next 20 hours or so, I was doing a lot of learning.  It was actually a really fun class, and I had some interesting conversations with some of the people who were there as well (I was one of only 2 girls…out of like 20 people).  Our instructor was really neat…and I think he liked us a lot.  He kept saying how we were “the best class he’d ever had”.  Then, when it came time to fill out the forms for our NRA memberships, he told us that he had worked out a deal with someone else to pay for our first year of membership for us, because he liked us so much.  I just couldn’t stop grinning.  What are the chances of that?  I guess with God, anything and everything is possible.  And, while I didn’t have a $100 check fall from the sky, and even though it seemed like things were getting down to the very last second of hope…God provided, in His own way and time…and just the way it all happened was so much more miraculous than I could have planned for, I couldn’t attribute it to anything other than God.

So, I write all that to say, sometimes when you pray, it may not seem like God is answering your prayers in the way you thought you needed - or maybe it seems like He doesn’t care.  I think it’s especially easy to start thinking this when money is tight and there are things that need to be paid for.  But God is faithful.  And you might think what you need most of all is a $100 check in the mail.  But God knows what you need most of all - and that’s to seek Him first and foremost, and to trust Him.  And when we do that, He will provide - it just might not be in exactly the way you would have expected, or the timing.  But we can trust that whatever happens will be what is best for us in the long run.  You don’t need $100…and you don’t need to worry - you need to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.

I’m learning.  Slowly, but surely, I’m learning.

Hopefully that encouraged you in some way. :o)

~Tai Sophia

I went to NEXT (formerly known as the New Attitude conference) for 2 years in a row - in 2007 and 2008.  Sadly, I haven’t been able to afford to go since then.  However, I’m going to encourage YOU, if you have some extra funds, and you’re free on the 28th-31st of this month, to sign up for NEXT 2010 now!  Registration ends on Sunday…and if you miss out on this opportunity, you’re missing out on one amazing, God-glorifying, stretching, and growth-inducing conference.  I’ve been blessed in so many ways by the 2 NEXT conferences I attended - SUPER teaching, AMAZING worship, DYNAMIC small-groups, and EARNEST fellowship with other Christians.  Seriously…it doesn’t get much better than that.  And, unlike many conferences today, it’s geared specifically toward our generation of young adults, so all of this stuff we learn is made applicable to our lives…but even better, it’s not “dumbed-down” because the people in charge realize we’re “just kids” - no!  It’s deep theological richness that we can sink our teeth into, because we are young adults who are earnestly seeking God - and we want the truth of His Word to change our lives.  And it will.

Visit: www.thisisnext.org for more details.

Today, in 1912, the RMS Titanic struck an ice-berg, and hundreds died.  It was not just one mistake, but many, all lumped together, which caused the tragedy that has gone down in history for it’s disturbing brutality.  Yet, even when faced with death and separation from their loved ones, this tragedy also brought to light the nobility that man could possess.

Today, in remembrance of this event, I am tweeting, play-by-play, in real-time, the events that occurred as they happened in 1912.  Follow me on Twitter to join in remembrance: Tai Sophia on Twitter

Here is a link to a speech I wrote a few years ago on the Titanic, and how we can learn from some of the things which happened that night: True Love and The Titanic

Today did not go as planned.  I sit here writing this with an ice-pack on my neck - for the 3rd time today.  As I sat on my bed this morning, I reached down to grab a book off of the floor…and a sharp pain shot through my neck.  Kind-of like a charlie-horse…but it’s stayed with me longer, and sometimes I feel nothing…and then I move, and have to cringe.  My head is basically stuck in one position until this passes…which has made today quite an interesting day.  From eating cereal, to putting my hair in a pony-tail, to getting a shower - everything I once thought was so simple has been about 10 times harder to do.  I never realized how very much you use your neck for.   I guess the saying is true that “You never realize what you have until it’s gone.”  I had to chuckle when I recalled the scripture that I read today in my quiet time - Psalm 4 - which included these verses:  “There are many who say, ‘Who will show us some good?  Lift up the light of your face upon us, O Lord!’ You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound.  In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

I was thankful for those verses.  I think without them I would have been tempted to be a grouch about it today.  But God was faithful to remind me that he can fill me with joy in the hard times just as much - if not even MORE than the good time…and, no matter what, I can rest, trusting in His plan, and believing that He’s got some way He’s growing me in all this.

I was thinking that there are 2 lessons I can pull from this so far:

1.) It really is very easy to take things for granted.  God has blessed us in so many ways…and we often thank him so little.  Maybe it would help you to imagine what life would be like without certain things…like your car, your bed, your clothes, your food, your books, your friendships - even your toothbrush.  What have you been taking for granted?  Thank God for it…and let those things move you to prayer and gratefulness.

2.)  None of us knows what’s going to happen tomorrow.  It could be anything.  Would we be joyful and content in God no matter what?  Something to ponder.  What is our hope and joy built on?  If it’s on Christ alone, nothing should be able to take it away.

~Tai Sophia

I just stumbled across this video on YouTube, and found it very thought provoking.

How do *I* handle the truth?  God is gracious enough to give me glimpses at my sinful state, through the power of his Holy Spirit; chances to turn from the sins in my life that are silently eating away at who He created me to be, and what He created me to do.  But do I listen to those convictions from the Holy Spirit with a hunger for change?  Do I listen with a humble heart when one of my parents or friends brings me an observation of an area which I may not have fully submitted to God…or do I shake my head, certain inside (with a vicious, prideful certainty) that they are mistaken?  For sure, truth is not always pleasant for me - for any of us - to hear.  It’s easy to be offended at what we see within it, as it lays us bare…leaves us raw.

Or maybe I *do* listen.  Maybe I understand what God is trying to point out in my life…that thing that I value more than Christ and His Word.  But what do I do then?  Do I try to scrub out the stain of sin with my own works?  Do I repent and weep and say that all along I knew that I needed to change…but then, when I turn away from the mirror of truth for a moment - when I begin to feel confident again in my ability to stand on my own two feet, and pride begins to creep back in - do I forget that moment of brokenness?  Only by and through Christ alone can I be set free from the sins that daily constrain me.  Only through His power and grace can I stand.  And only by His mercy can I walk forward with a clean heart, to share of His faithfulness with those around me.

Definitely some things to ponder.  What do you think about it?  Are there way’s you’ve tried to be rid of sin on your own - only to fall back in again and again?  Are there scriptures that have helped you in the battle?
~Tai Sophia

Today’s culture seems to have an endless supply of answers to that question.  We’re bombarded with “suggestions” from the latest novels, newly released films and catchiest tunes on the radio.

“I want your love and I want your revenge. I want your love, I don’t wanna be friends.” ~Bad Romance by Lady GaGa

“About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him — and I didn’t know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.” ~ Twilight

“I know your type, Boy, you’re dangerous. Yeah, you’re that guy I’d be stupid to trust…But just one night couldn’t be so wrong. You make me wanna lose control.” ~ Good Girls Go Bad by Cobra Starship

“Avril’s Back! How love finally made her happy.” “Girls Gone Wild! How far must a girl go to get his attention?” ~ From the covers of Seventeen magazine.

After pondering many of these “suggestions,” I settled upon what seemed to me to be five of the most prevalent (and somewhat conflicting) messages that many people – young and old alike – believe about romance today:

1.)    It’s ok to be selfish, because you are the most important person in your life.

2.)    You need to look “hot,” because people will be more likely to pay attention to you and maybe even fall in love with you.

3.)    You have been told your whole life that the best looking guy/girl out there is the one you should pursue, and you should expect everyone else to be thinking the same way.

4.)    Love is the most important emotion – to be pursued and obtained at any cost  and when this “love” crumbles, so does our “world.”

5.)    Relationships are temporary, and so is love.

With “help” from the media, I believe that much of what people today define as “love” (“unselfish, loyal, and benevolent concern for the good of another”) is in reality only infatuation (“to cause to be foolish : deprive of sound judgment”) or lust (“intense or unbridled sexual desire”).  Notice that both of these deviations from what love is really meant to be involve both selfishness and a lack of wisdom.  In fact, that definition of love that I included above is only what the dictionary says. The Bible’s definition is all that and so much more. Biblical romance involves not only selflessness and wisdom, but looking to Christ as our role model for what love looks like in every season of our lives.

So what does that mean for us singles?

CLICK HERE to read more…

~Tai Sophia

Rated: R

The earth has changed; it’s been burned by the sun, along with most of its former inhabitants, leaving a scorched landscape, and destitute survivors. It is the end of everything as we know it…or is it? Eli realizes the power that is bound between the covers of the book that he believes he has been given a divine commission to protect: the last Bible on earth. He also believes that he has been instructed to ensure its safe arrival to a place that will appreciate its survival…a place where he has never been. He must learn to “walk by faith, and not by sight”…literally. However, he’s not the only one who realizes that this book holds far more power than any other book on earth. Carnegie, who only has his own rise to power in mind, is on a mission to find the very book that Eli so carefully protects…and he won’t stop until he finds it. But Eli is not about to stop until he fulfills his mission. And so begins a conflict that costs many lives. So many lives, for one Book. Is it worth it?

That is one of the aspects of this movie that should provoke thought. What if you had the last Bible on earth, and you thought God was leading you to take it somewhere so that it could be preserved for posterity? Would you be willing to kill dozens of people so that the rest of history would be able to know truth and salvation? But what about the words within the Bible that say clearly, “Thou shalt not kill,”? What about those? Would you be able to trust that God would preserve His Word, without you having to kill? Of course, many times in the Bible (mainly Old Testament), God’s plans involved taking lives in battle…but what about now? Those are some questions you will have to wrestle with yourself…and those are some questions that even Eli was forced to wrestle with towards the end of the film:
“I got so caught up in keeping it safe, that I forgot to live by what it said.” ~ Eli

…see the rest of my review at: http://crosseyedblog.com/?p=1402

~Tai Sophia

Last night, my dad had my family come together for a time just to re-count God’s blessings in 2009, and to go over some of our desires and dreams for 2010, so we could sorta’ all be on the same page.  (Oddly enough, while we were talking, I mentioned that I didn’t have a ton of “big goals” for this year…all while the quote from Bella: “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans,” was running through my head.)

Well, one thing I mentioned as I recounted God’s many blessings of last year, was the fact that God provided me with a very nice used car, with no rust, and not bad mileage, for a relatively low cost.

I was very excited, because this meant that I’d be able to work at the CCC Bookstore again (starting next week), and make some money, which is always useful in this world (a plan I’d made in my head).  And it also afforded me some flexibility and freedom to do things that I couldn’t do without a car.  Not to mention I thought it was a really cute car, compared to what I’m used to driving.  There may have been a li’l pride there.

But anyway, last night, I was basically thanking God for my comfort.

This morning, I left early for church, because I was going to be overseeing the Book Table, which requires some pre-service set-up.  However, the heat in my car wasn’t working, so I was freeeeeeezing for the entire drive.  About 2/3 of the way to church, my “check engine soon” light came on and started flashing.  I thought it was strange, but my family has a history of cars with weird quirks, so I kind of ignored it…until my cruise control turned off, and shortly thereafter I discovered that it was no longer allowing me to accelerate.

At this point I realized I should probably pull off the highway, so I did, and sat there as I  texted the person in charge of Book Table duties to let them know I was broken down, and then called my dad, telling him the situation, and asking him to hurry in his preparation for church.

Then I realized that there was steam or smoke coming from under the hood.  I wasn’t too worried at first, and dad thought it might have been just steam.  Then it got worse, and definitely smelled awful…so, I got out of the car (grabbing my purse), and called Dad again.  As I did, there were some strange popping noises coming from the car that kinda’ freaked me out.

At that point, an SUV with flashing lights stopped, and a guy got out (who I later discovered was actually an FBI agent, not a police-man, as I had first assumed), and opened my hood for me.  It was then that I saw a little patch of fire near the windshield.

Neither of us had a fire extinguisher, so we went back to his car, (which he backed far away from my own…just in case) where he called 911.  Before the first guys got there, there were flames shooting out of the sides of the hood and thick smoke surrounding it.  The first guys on the scene only had little fire extinguishers, and they couldn’t do anything to the rapidly growing ball of fire.  So we all just had to stand back and watch as the car melted, dripping molten plastic and rubber.  It was a strange feeling of not being able to do a thing.

Eventually 2 fire-trucks arrived, and several minutes later, 3 more came…though they were a little late; by that time most of the flames were gone - it was just smoking a bit.  By the time dad and Ben got there, this is what it looked like:

Of course I’ve been struggling with all the different challenges this presents…not to mention that it was nerve-wracking to watch your car go up in flames (I still feel a little sick every time I look at that picture).

But at the same time, I feel like I learned some things from this.  It seemed like God looked at my praises of him last night, for all that he’d blessed me with last year, and decided to ask me, “Would you still be so amazed by me,  so in love with me, so thankful for all I’ve done in your life if I took away some of these transient, fleeting “pleasures” that seem so important in the world’s eyes - in your eyes?  What if I took away one of the very things you were so thankful for, so attached to, and so sure that I had provided for your comfort?  What then?”

What do we do when our lives go up in flames?  Some of you may have had more trying circumstances than just a car - perhaps something happened that threatened your life, or your ability to function correctly.  What then?

“Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.’ In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong.” Job 1:20-22

Nothing we have on this earth is really ours…God is sovereign, and he can take away what he wants, when he wants, for our ultimate good, just as easily as he can bless us.  And we can choose to let the “taking away” of our earthly treasures depress us, or cause us to doubt God, or sin…OR we can ask God for the help to bring him glory even in a situation like this (or worse), and ask for him to grow us closer to him through it.  It really all depends on our perspective, and I pray that mine would be an eternal one; realizing that my ultimate satisfaction is not in this world, but in Christ.  I know God’s got a plan in all this…I just pray that my attitude would reflect his perfect peace.

We never want to hold on to material things too tightly.

And I know he can bring me a new car at any time if he so desires…I still believe this car was a miracle (I wanted to name it a Spanish name for “miracle” or “God’s gift”)…which makes me even more certain that God’s behind the scenes.  This may all have only been for my testing and sanctification…or there may be more, maybe that I’ll never know ’till I get to heaven.  But whatever the reason, I am so thankful that I have been blessed with so much…so much love, so many awesome friendships, such a great and undeserved salvation and forgiveness, and even material things like cars when I’ve needed them.

So…2010 can only get better from here…right? haha

HOWEVER…it’s not every day your car spontaneously combusts, and you get to meet a really nice FBI agent - not to mention having a good reminder from God!!

~Lady Tai